2015

2015 was an interesting year. Preceded by 2014; a year of travel and graduations, but also a year filled with a stifling anxiousness about it. I spent a majority of 2014 in a fearful mindset, one that’s hard to forget. I felt not only stuck in my job, but crushed by it. My goals in life seemed like they lived in a galaxy far away.  Still, I kept a brave face and tried to move above my situation. I was scared that 2015 would bring much of the same. A lot of my time was spent praying for growth the movement upward and out of what seemed like a never-ending nightmare. Funnily enough, God saw fit to change that situation exactly on January 1, 2015.

A slew of newness was brought into my life: a new, encouraging leader in my workplace, strong confidence in myself, confidence in my decision making and talents, and even new skills. The first few months of 2015 were odd for me because I felt free. I no longer felt the need to distress in impressing others. I worked as hard as I could for me and it paid off. Those around me recognized this and started to comment on it. I felt comfortable in my own skin again.  I wasn’t breaking my back trying to please people who couldn’t be pleased.

A few months into 2015, I began to look for new opportunities for work. I’d worked at the hotel for so long that I began to feel complacent. I needed to be challenged. As much positivity that had surrounded me at work in the recent months, I still knew I needed a change. God answered my prayers when I least expected it. I had just been given a promotion at work, when, the very next day, I got a call for a position I had applied for several weeks prior. I had put any new jobs out of my mind and it was a surprise. I was SO nervous and unsure of interviewing for the new position, but I knew I would be a fool not to try. I interviewed twice and waited for a call. Nothing. Weeks passed and I, once again, put the prospect of a new job on hold. At the hotel, I continued to be diligent in my work and cultivated more professional relationships. Stephen and I celebrated our 4th dating anniversary. Alex and I continued to have crazy sister adventures.  Life continued on.

Then, one day I got an email. The new job wanted to interview me again.  Nervousness settled in as I went in for a third round. And, I was hired. It was hard to believe what I had prayed for had finally come to pass.

Just when I thought life couldn’t get more interesting, just two days before starting my new job, during what a thought was a normal Saturday, Stephen got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. Thus, a new season of our relationship began and wedding plans ensued. My new job started and life hasn’t been the same since.

Many other great things happened in 2015. My sister and I had misadventures traveling to California to surprise my parents. I learned how to change a thermostat in my car (thanks Stephen!).  Stephen and I went on a boat together for the first time. We also road-tripped to NY for Thanksgiving, making it the longest road trip we’ve taken together. And Stephen drove the entire trip by himself.  We also got our first parking ticket, but that’s a milestone we wish could’ve been skipped…

All in all, 2015 was a year of newness and growth. I have learned to find “the moral of the story” out of every season in my life. But, I am so thankful for the fresh season I experienced. I’m ready for 2016. The year I get married. The year I continue to make great strides at work and in my career. The year I continue to learn about myself and the people around me. The year I say “no” to things that stress me out. The year I continue to grow.

Leadership Skills for the Follower

I’ve never reaaaallly thought of myself as a follower.  I take the lead when I dance, during group projects, and I speak up for those who don’t have a voice.  But, I can also be insecure, doubtful, full of regrets, fearful of authority, and scared of conflict.  These aren’t attributes of a leader, are they?  I constantly ask myself where to draw the line between being a controlling crazy person and a doormat.  It’s certainly a learning process…I’m not perfect, nor are my leadership skills.  Yet, I think that my personality allows me to see the best in people, but also be discerning about character and actions.  I use my God-given traits to my advantage, so that whether or not they are defined by being a leader or follower, they leave a positive impact on those around me.  Here are a few tips for gaining some balance between the role of leader and follower:

1. Say what you mean; just say it kindly.

I don’t mean this to say that you never tell someone advice they may not want to hear.  Or that you shouldn’t tell your coworker to stop eating your homemade turkey sandwiches out of the office fridge.  But, often, screaming expletives and name calling causes more issues than not.  This also gives off a bad impression.  However, knowing how to get your point across without ripping off someone’s head is essential.

2. Get straight to the point

Whether in an office setting or at a dinner party, unless your story/argument/debate/lecture is dependent on a set up, leave out details that won’t matter or be remembered.  Those around you will appreciate your succinctness and your point will be remembered.

3. Don’t gossip!

This is a hard one…who doesn’t love a juicy tidbit about their coworker or neighbor?  But, gossip can get into the wrong hands and find it’s way back to you.  It makes you look untrustworthy.  People should be able to trust you with sensitive information.

4. Know when to separate work from play

I can’t tell you show many times I spent laying awake in bed replaying something that happened at work or in class.  Or worrying about something that needs to be done on my schedule.  But, all of the worrying never solved any of my problems.  So, what’s the point of worrying at all?  Knowing when to work hard and play hard is important to a balanced life.

5. Don’t put up a front

People are pretty good about seeing behind a mask and fake emotions.  Good leaders should allow others to see their mistakes and insecurities (to a point, of course).  Acting like someone you’re not only adds to the stress of attempting to fit your unique personality into a box.  This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t work on personal areas that you prefer to improve, but trying to change who you truly are makes life so difficult and unauthentic.

So, are there ways you’ve learned to balance your role?  Do you think it’s ok to define some people as leaders and others as followers? Are leaders born or made?  I’d love to hear your thoughts!