Haunting of Hill House

“A ghost can be a lot of things. A memory, a daydream, a secret. Grief, anger, guilt. But, in my experience, most times they’re just what we want to see.” – Steven Crain

Last October, one chilly, quiet Saturday morning when my husband was at work, I turned on Netflix while I laid in bed. Something to absent-mindedly fill my time until I was ready to really get up. I selected the newly-added Haunting of Hill House, realizing in the back of my head it was something scary to watch. Often, I’ll put on a scary movie when I’m feeling anxious. It helps me because it’s a controlled experience for my anxiety. I can expect the scares. I know for a little while, my nerves will be tested, my heart will race, and my breath will be become short. Then, once the credits roll, the evil will have been vanquished and the antagonist is free to live unoppressed again. So, as I pressed play on HoHH, I expected the same. I’d be scared for a bit, relishing in the cathartic experience, then I’d go about my day. Who knew, a year later, I’d be watching the show for a 3rd time, as self-prescribed therapy.

The thing about HoHH is that the ghosts aren’t your average demonic presence or former living being seeking revenge. The ghosts are of the things we cower from most in our lives: fear, rejection, insecurities, failure, generational curses, grief, shortcomings, and regrets. The things we gloss over and pretend aren’t there. But try as we might, these ugly memories and feelings often bubble up in the worst ways at the most inopportune times. And this is what’s explored in HoHH.

As a horror-fan, I enjoyed the truly eerie setting and few jump scares. But, as I watched more, I began to feel a stirring that was different than I had experienced before. I was emotional as I was watching. And it wasn’t just emotion based on what the characters were feeling. It was my own emotion bubbling up.

I watched each of the characters bury and, then abruptly confront, their past. And it made me squirm uncomfortably with my own anxieties. What did I need to confront?

If you’re familiar with enneagrams, you know how intricate labeling your personality can be. Well, I’m an enneagram 6, which means I often deal with anxiety, fear, and have to consult my “inner decision committee” before making a decision. As a person who deals with so much anxiety, I sure do pack it deep down and pretend it’s not there for a while. HoHH made me drudge up feelings of self-doubt, insecurities, and fear that I try to ignore. Watching the siblings in HoHH deal with trauma they fought so hard to forget made me realize that we shouldn’t have to bury what frightens us. It causes “ghosts” to haunt us for no good reason at all.

An interesting aspect of the show that I didn’t recognize until my second viewing were the hidden ghosts that appeared randomly throughout varying scenes. I hadn’t noticed them while watching the first time. It was telling of the way we tend to know we’re dealing with heavy stuff and how we just let those ghosts live with us and stay in our backgrounds without actually facing them. It’s both terrifying and sobering.

As a show, HoHH was exceptionally good. The acting, cinematography, and production value were great. But, if offers so much more than just a fun scare to watch. It’s a deep look at how we scar ourselves in attempt to stop wounds from opening up again.

Give the show a go and I hope it’s as much of an experience for you as it was for me.